Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Marriages are made in Heaven.... or earth!!!!

     The title itself is sarcastic in itself.... Surprised!!! When you have read my post probably you may also be the one to support the first stmt in my post.....

     This thought and corresponding post on the same notion came to me coz of some very weird situations and things that have been happening around me. It was, is and will always be a true belief that love can happen anywhere and anytime. Being in love is an altogether different and beautiful experience within itself.... As ppl say, once in love, its as if you are the only creatures in this world. Ohh why am I going on and on with this love stuff… isn’t my post supposed to be talking about the end of a love life – so called most awaited marriage stuff. Think twice is that the end of all love relations!!!! I happened to witness two such scenarios, though there may be many more, which adds to the fact the marriages are not anymore an heaven affair but fully and solely owned by ppl on earth :DD

Scenario 1 :

     Lately some of friends had the pleasure of being in love with the person of their choice. Finding the sheer glow of happiness in their life getting reflected on their face made me all the more happier. But lately these lines of happiness are fading and am sure the days are not far when it will be replaced fully by sadness:(((( The reason a beautiful love life ended harshly and reason pretty insane – kundali/horoscope didn’t match.

     Being a part of the Indian society is a curse sometimes when it comes to marriages especially a luv marriage. Many a times arranged marriages also go this traumatic process of so called kundalli/horoscope matching stuff. I have always been against such kundalli stuff, but can’t help if am also forced to undergo all these procedures under some social pressure :DDD In arranged marriage I thnk it doesn’t matter much coz u don’t have particular attachment to the guy/gal you meet. But in case of luv marriages its like an end for the couples involved if they are not allowed to marry just coz the kundalli/horoscope thing didn’t work out.

     Isn’t this an insane thing still pretty much supported by the Indian society? Hasn’t it been the case that arranged marriages also end up in divorce even after the kundalli/horoscope matching stuff….I think u come to love a person based on the compatibility level u share with him/her. It is possible that a friend may become a lover in the long run, the reason is pretty simple their frequencies match and they care for each other. They can understand each other and a slight change in your body lang. is easily understood by ur partner when ur in love!! So does kundalli really have the power to decide whether two ppl who love each intimately can live together happily….

Scenario 2 :

     A few days back my second cousin called up out of the blue to share a beautiful moment in his life – “Didi I m in love”. The first words I that came out of my mouth was “Congr8s dear”. The consequent stmts btwn us was common. “What’s her name, where is she from, what is she doing..” Mind it never once I asked which caste she belonged to, probably coz that doesn’t matter much to me!! But when I came to she is a Christian I was a bit unhappy, brooding over the fact that will this relation be accepted by our family as I did…

     The answer is a big “NO”. Here the reason is slightly more insane and different. Being from a higher “Nair” caste, getting married to a caste lower than ours is considered as a big crime in kerala. And in my cousin’s case its like a gr8 bhuchal kinda stuff thts gonna happen… Its not the case with our caste.. I think almost all of the castes in India are pretty much orthodox, when it comes to inter-caste marriages....

Will this end??

     When we were born, when we went to school sat with fellow students or when we made friends…. did we ever bother about these caste or kundalli stuff. Did we ever bother to compare our kundalli’s with our friends to find out how compatible we are, then why these irrelevant horoscopes or castes gain importance when it comes to marriage or unison of two lovers…Never got an answer to all my above questions….But one thing I have accepted is :

“All Love doesn’t end in Marriage”

     Now my consistent nightmare is if this is the scenario, then to get a bakra for myself I will definitely have to go through all these tedious and horrible procedures.. Agar yahi procedure zindagi bhar chalta raha toh lagta nahi is janam main koi bakra fasega :DDDD

48 Comments:

Blogger Samyak said...

nice post !! :)

Tuesday, 13 June, 2006  
Blogger Phoenix said...

very nice and hard hitting
i wish decisons of life were free of such faltu things
hope u find a suitable bakra, or else lets boycott marriage:P

Wednesday, 14 June, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Even I don't believe in kundali, can i marry you? And I don't think a girl so smart, intelligent andbeautiful like you require to have fear of getting married, there will be many ready to marry you ;)

Wednesday, 14 June, 2006  
Blogger Mohan Kodali said...

When we were born, when we went to school sat with fellow students or when we made friends…. did we ever bother about these caste or kundalli stuff.

yep. there were days which showed differences in the classrooms. Its changed and the same thing will happen even in this context. give some time. Agree that they luk at the horroscopes and whatever.. but there are cases where they stopped looking that deep.

Wednesday, 14 June, 2006  
Blogger Athena said...

@seige.. thnx for commenting :))

@taru.. haan yaar aisi faltoo ki cheezon se upar hona chahiye shaadi vaadi ka chakkar :DDD

, or else lets boycott marriage:P

thnx for the support :DD:PPP

@anon.. tumhe jaanti hi nahi toh shaadi toh door ki baat :DD:PPPP

there will be many ready to marry you ;)

aur agar un sab ke saath meri kundali nahi mili toh :DD:P

Wednesday, 14 June, 2006  
Blogger Athena said...

@chandu.. whatever.. but there are cases where they stopped looking that deep.

haan ye bhi hai.. lekin aaj bhi isi ki wajah se kaafi luvmarriages nahi ho paate :(:DDD

Wednesday, 14 June, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nothing is true at all.. these are just situation created by god in order to check whether we can resist or not. just look at the various processes in world, like, sand is everywhere but dimonds are only available in earth's core. So in order to become somebody precious and important you have to go through these or else just "haar maan lo aur baith jao" and think it's society which is giving you tension. Problems are everywhere, every body you meet is having his own dark side, but not everybody roam around with open wounds, as u need to do X-Ray or ECG or another mean to know his/her pain. I just mean to say... "you are not getting pain, but you are feeling pain", and as Movie matrix suggests and Geeta says, Believe and Become.

Thursday, 15 June, 2006  
Blogger Athena said...

@anon.. I just mean to say... "you are not getting pain, but you are feeling pain", and as Movie matrix suggests and Geeta says, Believe and Become.

kaash sab ye samajh paate :((( u knw in majority of the cases thts the reason y ppl elope and get married 8))

Thursday, 15 June, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you were looking beautiful yesterday, you could have organized a swayamvar at office cafeteria yesterday, I am sure you would have got many!!

Thursday, 15 June, 2006  
Blogger Ravi Dixit said...

As ppl say, once in love, its as if you are the only creatures in this world.


disagreed totalllllllllly
once in love, you begin to like and love every creature in this world... so, you find, every creature as lovely as your love... and the whole world seems to look beautiful...

waise... mujhe lag raha hai ki tumko bahut chinta ho chali hai apni shadi ko lekar... itna pareshaan na ho.. mummy papa par poora bharosa rakkho... hum kuch na kar sake to woh humara kalyaan kar hi denge...

ab to main apni naav unke haath de di hai.. :D:P.. tum bhi de do.. aur mazze lo life ke... ;)

Thursday, 15 June, 2006  
Blogger Athena said...

@anon.. i don't come to office for such stuff b-))))

@ravi.. ab to main apni naav unke haath de di hai.. :D:P.. tum bhi de do.. aur mazze lo life ke... ;)

haan wahi toh kiya hai lekin usmain ye kundali vagere kuch zyaada hi pain maarte hain :DD:PPPP wait dixitji aapko bhi yahi sab jhelna hoga :PPP

Friday, 16 June, 2006  
Blogger Athena said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Friday, 16 June, 2006  
Blogger Ravi Dixit said...

no, no, no...
mujhe yeh sab nahi jhelna padega..
meri life main aisi problems nahi aayaingi...

mere ghar wale to mujhe keh chuke hain ki beta agar tumko koi pasand ho to hum usko hi bahu mann lenge.... caste no bar, religion no bar, kundli no bar... bas yeh dekh lena ki woh akalmand ho, akal band nahi :D:P

lekin main itna nalayak hoon ki is intezaar main hoon ki kab woh log mere baare main soonchenge aur kuch karenge.. unko pata nahi hai ki agar woh mujhse umeed karenge to bahu ek sapna ban kar reh jaaayegi :P:P

Friday, 16 June, 2006  
Blogger Athena said...

@ravi.. mere ghar wale to mujhe keh chuke hain ki beta agar tumko koi pasand ho

sahi hai tumhaare gharwaale bhi ;) chalo ek kaam karrte hain gharwaale interchng karr lete hain toh meri bhi prob solved and tumhe bhi ladki mil jaayegi kyonki mere parents toh luv marrriage ke against hain isliye ladka dhoondh rahe hainmere liye :(( toh ab jab xchng karr lenge toh tumhaare liye ladki woh dhoondh denge ;)) kya khayal hai xchng offer ka :DD:PPP

Friday, 16 June, 2006  
Blogger Saras said...

:)

Saturday, 17 June, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

aaj maine tumhe dekha
kya zabardast lag rahi thi :p

Sunday, 18 June, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

aaj maine bhi tumhe dekha...
kya moti hoti jaa rahi ho... [:x][:x][:x]

kuc karo.. nahi to tumhaara waala jo fasaa hai.. bhaag jaayega and upar se gahr se bhi koi bakaraa nahi milegaa..

moti moti moti :DDDD

Monday, 19 June, 2006  
Blogger Athena said...

@anon.. kya zabardast lag rahi thi

toh ismain burai kya hai :Ooooooooooo:DDDDDDDD

@saras.. :)

@anon..kya moti hoti jaa rahi ho... [

apni aakhain test karvaa lo :PPPPPPP main aur moti :OOOO:DDDDdddddddddd

nahi to tumhaara waala jo fasaa hai.. bhaag jaayega and upar se gahr se bhi koi bakaraa nahi milegaa..

toh tumhe itni tension kyon hai :Ooooooooo jab mujhe hi tension nahi hai :DDDDDDDD:Pppppppppppp

Monday, 19 June, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

apni aakhain test karvaa lo :PPPPPPP main aur moti :OOOO:DDDDdddddddddd

Tum apni waist and weight check karo.. Motii !! [:d][:d]

toh tumhe itni tension kyon hai :Ooooooooo jab mujhe hi tension nahi hai

Taaki..sab tumhe reject maar dene ke baad.. mera raasta saaf ho jaaye !! Yaad hai na.. last backup option to main hi hoon [:P][:d][:d] [8)][8)]

Tuesday, 20 June, 2006  
Blogger Athena said...

@anon.. Tum apni waist and weight check karo.. Motii !!

uski tension bhi tumhe lene ki zaroorat nahiiiiiiiiiiiiii :Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

sab tumhe reject maar dene ke baad.. mera raasta saaf ho jaaye !!

aur phir bhi kisine mujhe reject nahi maara toh :Oooooo:DDDDDDDD phir toh tum bhi yaad rakhna raaste main main nahi miloongi 8):DDD

Yaad hai na.. last backup option to main hi hoon

pehli baat toh uski naubatt nahi aayegi ;) aur haan marr jaungi lekin tumhe backup nahi banaungi 8);))))

Tuesday, 20 June, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

aur phir bhi kisine mujhe reject nahi maara toh
Don't be soooo over-confident... abhi abhi.. tumhaara love tumhe reject maar raha hai [;)]
--------
marr jaungi lekin tumhe backup nahi banaungi

Chalo achha hai.. kahin to tumne mujhe backup se badhkar priority di hai... [8)]

Wednesday, 21 June, 2006  
Blogger Voice said...

kundali problem:

give some extra money to pandit... kundali mil jayegi :))

yeh to hai...love marriages allowed hone chahiye... but logo ko love ki samajh bhi honi chahiye.

bakra... bechara bakra... bhaag jaa bahut duur so that athena waha na aa sake

Thursday, 22 June, 2006  
Blogger Athena said...

@anon.. mujhe confidence ho ya overconfidence.. its none of ur business!!!

@voice.. bakra... bechara bakra... bhaag jaa bahut duur so that athena waha na aa sake

use bhagane ki zaroorat nahi kundali na milne par khud hi bhaag jaayega ;):D:PPP

Thursday, 22 June, 2006  
Blogger Bloggie said...

Kya procedure baba, Shaadi apni marzi se karo... Bahgwan ne koi caste waste nahin banayi, woh to Insaanon ne create kiya hei

Friday, 23 June, 2006  
Blogger Athena said...

@Bloggie.. Bahgwan ne koi caste waste nahin banayi, woh to Insaanon ne create kiya hei

kaash shaadi bhi bhagwan hi karrva dete toh yahan insaano ke caste aur kundali ke chakkar main padhne ki naubbath toh nahi aati :((:DDDD

Friday, 23 June, 2006  
Blogger Bloggie said...

Haan wahi to!!.. Kya karen Indian Culture hi kuch aisa hai...

Friday, 23 June, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I dont know where marriages are made, but dont worry .. im sure you'll find a partner soon too! no doubt about it !!!

Friday, 23 June, 2006  
Blogger Aurora said...

u live in tht society whr this thing matter alot
well i dont know abt love marriage n all becoz i know meri life mein jo hoga woh arranged hi hone wala hain jiske liye mujhe pehle se alert kar diya gaya hain


luv marriage ......well aajkal iska meaning hi change ho gaya hain


log ismein phaste hi kaise hain
aur sabse badi baat log shaadi ke jaal mein kyu phaste hain
cant we live alone ??????????
is this necessary we ve to tie with smone


aur upar se kundali :(((((

Sunday, 25 June, 2006  
Blogger Aurora said...

i hope for u god search someone very special:DD

Sunday, 25 June, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

@megha
sabhi ke liye koi na koi special hi rehta hai.... samjhi buddhu.

-Voice

Sunday, 25 June, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

@megha
larkio ko to generally shadi karni hi parti hai...

larko ke liye shadi nahi karna thoda easy hai fir bhi ...hehehe

bhav

Sunday, 25 June, 2006  
Blogger Athena said...

@megs.. cant we live alone ??????????
is this necessary we ve to tie with smone


definitely agar mujhse poochogi toh i m not interested :) haan lekin parents ka kya their wish and ours don't match and isliye karrna zaroori ho jaata hai :((((

i hope for u god search someone very special:DD

dekho bhagwan mujhe kaisa patidev dete hain ;):D:PPP

Monday, 26 June, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmmm i know the feeling of the family not accepting the other one... but i cant say that i can relate to it... with all of my cousins love married and all but one of them outta caste, i must say im actually under to get love married and that too OUT of caste ;)

Wednesday, 28 June, 2006  
Blogger Athena said...

@satyam.. actually under to get love married and that too OUT of caste ;)

hmm sahi hai ;) lagta hai pyar vyar ke mamlon main SVIT ke juniors seniors se zyaada progressive hain :D:PP

Wednesday, 28 June, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

22222222222222222222222222222222 gud completely agree with wht u written thr !!!

Friday, 30 June, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

22222222222222222222222222222222 gud completely agree with wht u written thr !!!

-NBK

Friday, 30 June, 2006  
Blogger Aurora said...

@vins

dekhna bhagwan sab acha hi karega :))))


@bhav

sabhi ke liye koi na koi special hi rehta hai.... samjhi buddhu.

acha mujhe pata nahi tha buddhu :XXX


larkio ko to generally shadi karni hi parti hai...

[:o]
ji nahi asa zarrori nahi hain mein toh nahi karne waali dekh lena [8)]

Thursday, 06 July, 2006  
Blogger kosha said...

sorry...m so late to reply to this...

but i will say only one thing...
marriages are made in heaven and broken on earth!!

Thursday, 06 July, 2006  
Blogger Athena said...

@samay.. im sure you'll find a partner soon too! no doubt about it !!!

thnx 4 commenting :)

@megs.. :)

@kosha.. marriages are made in heaven and broken on earth!!

i strongly support u on this stmt!!!

Thursday, 06 July, 2006  
Blogger sp said...

well, i disagree..Arranged marriages arent anything to despise. Like you said, compatibility is the one single thing that makes a luv story successful, whatever may be the sentiment it may have germinated from. But still for any marriage to be successful, the couple needs to adjust, lots. Often enough this is the hitch, ppl fall in love, then when they find that they arent able to make adjustments, they separate which is awful and leaves behind emotional scars and baggage, more so in a highly integrated society like ours.

Arranged marriage is the only social institution that I can think of which offers you a high degree of success in relationships since being from a similar community (caste is a much profaned word), there is a high probability of compatibility. Also, because of the very nature of this social system, individuals put a lot more effort into making it a success and making adjustments as separation is a taboo. Why do you think the couples wouldnt end up sharing a loving married life given the high level of compatibility ?

The percentages of successful love marriages in societies like the US is surely less than 50% precisely because ppl get into a marriage with a plan B - knowing that there is an easy way out "in case it doesnt work out". The few successful ones are the smart ones who could figure out their compatible life partners.

The arranged marriage system in India, given the varied cultures and communities, is a great system that works for the general population. For the few smart and lucky ones, who stumble upon their perfect lifepartners themselves, it only takes strong individual willpower to convince family to accept the relationship. And in most cases, once the family sees that there is dedication, they usually fall in line. In fact, an "arranged love-marriage" offers the best insurance for a marriage. :-) Why, today's generation has the best of both worlds; you can get to meet prospective pool of ppl with the highest degree of compatibility and meet them and figure out whether you share a vibe or not. Isnt that what dating in western societies is all about without the level of commitment involved and lesser probabilities of success?

In fact I personally am glad for this option, if I dont myself stumble upon my lifepartner, I shall definitely be able to find the right person thru this route and I shall surely love her like crazy ! :-) I sure have very high standards and might not be lucky enuf to find someone myself.

Very long post...but well cudnt resist. :-)

Monday, 10 July, 2006  
Blogger Athena said...

@sp.. thnx for the long comment and i liked the theme in ur comment... it was easy for u to say tht luv marriages can turn out to be arranged ones and even i accept tht luv-cum-arranged marriages are the best form of marriage tht can happen, but in the indian society with parents being orthodox in thoughts abt an intercaste marriage or creating fuss over kundali stuff it sometimes becomes a next to impossible thng to convince them.. but ya hope in future majority of the parents do understand this fact tht luv is above all these thngs....

hmm the only solution left would be to go by our parents choice and make them happy and be happy!!!

yup i m with iflex! wht abt u?

Monday, 10 July, 2006  
Blogger Dr Roshan Radhakrishnan said...

horoscopes dont make people..people make horoscopes.

Monday, 17 July, 2006  
Blogger Samiran Ghosh said...

Hummm.... you made me purplexed. Nice post

Friday, 28 July, 2006  
Blogger Vicky Goes Crazy... said...

vinitha(hope u rem'ber me :)] ...

ur reasons are valid ..no doubts ... c there s something called generation gap ...our parents like to stick to their conventional ways .. :) ...

we will try to change it ... try to convince them .. talk to them .. im sure a father or mother if they find ur love reasonable to some extent will hesitate first but mite accept at the end :) ...

c love alone s not life .. love n life has to b practical.. some parents oppose coz they dont like love ..some oppose coz ur love s not practical ...

my parents did arranged marriage ... they have 3 kids ..well grown up settled ..n 30yr of their marriage still floating well n fine :) ... when i say i love some girl they will wont accept as their arranged marraige has gone well ..so they would prefer that i also follow the same .. but stil who knows the future :D ..

my best suggestion would be "lets try to convince our parents ..talk to them .. try to bridge the generation gap ... " ..

if not lets go their way ..afterall they are our parents .. at any point of time we need their blessings rite...wat say ;)

Friday, 18 August, 2006  
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